Posts Tagged ‘forgive’

Too Late To Apologize Boyfriend/Girlfriend

Friday, November 21st, 2008

When people believe that it is too late to apologize, they actually think that they do not have a second chance.

However, too late to apologize means to never solve the problem a mistake has caused. People with this type of mentality will build up more and more unsolved issues as they go through life because there will always be offensive and non considerate people (who never apologize).

So the best solution is to always accept an apology, and if a mistake is committed, to always apologize. From the moment a person commits a mistake and on, it will always be present unless action is taken to say sorry.

The sooner we apologize, the better. But the reality is that it is never too “late to apologize” and the only situation were it is impossible to do so, is when the other person has passed away.

One of the main reason why it is good to say sorry as soon as possible is because you never know when you will see that person again. We are all destined to death and sooner or later, this is a moment that can come suddenly into any one’s life. The results could be that we are left with guilt.

Another reason why apologizing right away is crucial in a relationship is because time increases resentment. People don’t just forget about things right away. As time passes by, they could actually think that whatever was done to them was intentional.

As mentioned on previous post, all of our experiences in life form part of us consciously or subconsciously,  so even if they “forgot” about it, it is still present some were in their memories as an offense that was never resolved.

Many people who don’t apologize is because of their own pride, shyness, or because of the feeling of rejection or humiliation. For those who have such problems, it is even difficult to say sorry by writing a letter of apology.

That is why it is always good to look at the situation from all perspectives. If a person does not apologize, it could be because one of the reasons mentioned above, however it does not mean that they don’t want to apologize, but they are not capable to.

The mentality of “too late to apologize” means it is always too late to fix a problem, and since problems will always exist, it means that we will always have problems that will never be resolved.

Even if a person hurts you today, and says sorry 50 years from now, the best choice is to accept and forgive. This is because is better to have the rest of your life in peace with this person, than the rest of eternity full of resentment.

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Forgiveness

Wednesday, November 19th, 2008

Forgiveness forms an inherent part of human nature and therefore it dignifies us as one of our excellent virtues.

Contrary to what many think, forgiveness is not a synonym of forgetting, rather it is to accept the bad that has been done to us, to accept that we are imperfect beings and therefore others like us are entitled to make mistakes.

To forgive is to recognize that life is made of opportunities, to forgive is humility to realize that everyone is entitled to it, and that we are not anybody to neglect forgiveness.

Forgiveness embodies its foundations in our very essence; essence that we only taste when we put aside the prejudices of the world and we rediscover ourselves and make corrections starting from our actions with ourselves and with others.

Forgiveness is more of a virtue rather than a capacity (which, by the way, we have very little) that life gives us, our experiences, but above all love. The pure and true love.

When we are not sufficiently able to put aside our pride and start again, we generally experience a sense of frustration at the expense of whom harbor negative feelings such as bitterness, thirst for revenge, among many others, that far justifying our incapacity (exactly what we expected). It fill us with anger, powerlessness, but especially bitterness, as we sadly realize that we do not possess the tools necessary to discover and exploit our potential as a purely emotional and imperfect beings.

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How To Write A Sorry Letter To Girlfriend-Boyfriend

Tuesday, November 18th, 2008

Lets face it, we have to admit that all human beings make mistakes, no body is perfect and sooner or later, we will get to a point where our mistakes need to be understood.

Relationships are not excluded from mistakes and they are very delicate to the suffering they cause. That is why we have to learn how to swallow our pride and admit that we were wrong when it comes to confessing mistakes to our partner.

However, not everybody has the humility to say sorry directly, but if that is the case, it can still be done in writing.

Writing a letter requires some thinking, but writing a “sorry letter” could require some brainstorming.

The following are a few things you might want to keep in mind before you write a sorry letter to your girlfriend/boyfriend:

-In this letter of apology don’t start by saying sorry or apologizing, be realistic.
-Let him/her know indirectly about what you really want to say (sorry).
-Remember that you are not writing a romantic or I love you letter.
-Write about your personal weakness that led you to the mistake.
-Be careful with what you write (it could be misinterpreted).
-Do not add sorry poems or sorry quotes, just be natural.
-Keep in mind that words are delicate in this situation.
-Be very responsible and mature about the situation.
-Make her/him understand that you were wrong.
-Sprinkle a little humor in the confession.
-Say sorry at the end of the letter.
-Cross your fingers.
-Done.
- .

Your partners reaction to letter will depend on many things that can vary from what type of mistake, how healthy is your relationship, trust, the time of the relationship it self, etc, but most importantly, communication.

Expressing sorry to your partner might be difficult if communication is poor. This could make it an obstacle.

But keep in mind that many people will never get to the point to say “I am sorry” because they are afraid of rejection or humiliation.

Saying sorry means you are doing the right thing.

If your partner or ex partner does not want to accept your apology, then he/she is the one who might have issues. As an imperfect human being, you (as well as him/her) have every right to be wrong at times and also have the right to say sorry, be heard and understood.

Just like you, your partner has the potential of committing similar mistakes. Whether he/she is your boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife, there will always be that special need of understanding.

Your partner should know that “Contrary to what many think, forgiveness is not a synonym of forgetting, rather it is to accept the bad that has been done to us, to accept that we are imperfect beings and therefore others like us are entitled to make mistakes.”

“… to forgive is humility to realize that everyone is entitled to it, and that we are not anybody to neglect forgiveness.”

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