Ex Girlfriend | 100 Questions Before Marriage Blog

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How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

Thursday, February 24th, 2011

The love of your life appears to have disappeared, and you want her back. Can you do it? Of course! But it’s going to take a bit of work and honesty on your part. First off, who instigated the break up? If she did, this is definitely going to be an uphill battle.

You’re going to want to grab a pen and paper. Write down the reason(s) she gave, leaving space in between to refute her claims. If you weren’t given a chance to defend yourself, this is going to be somewhat cathartic. Here are some examples.

“You never listen to me” Admit it. Yes, you read that right. Women don’t generally operate in a vacuum, and men frequently run on autopilot. You will not only need to be aware of what happened, but be willing to learn how to listen, as opposed to just hearing.
“You always take me for granted” Probable. People get comfortable with each other. Was it a two-way street? Did both of you stop presenting your best side? Remember, this is just an exercise to check yourself, in the hopes of getting her back. Now is not the time to tell her that in your estimation, you’re both guilty of that behavior. You lost your chance to comment on that when you didn’t bring it up while you two were a couple.
“You’re boring” AKA: “We never go out and have fun anymore” What’s changed? First, make sure she’s not just slinging accusations. If it is in fact true that you used to have an active social life, and now you don’t, why not? If you are serious about getting your girlfriend back, then you need to be willing to make some major changes. If you just rolled your eyes at me, then you don’t belong with her.

Once you’ve done all your paperwork, think about it. There’s really no rush to getting her back. It is going to be much more important to her that you heard her, understood her, agreed with her, and have indicated you feel she’s worth changing for. To quote Melvin Udall in “As Good as it Gets”, she makes you want to be a better man.

Now we’re ready for the specifics. Those notes you took are going to be a very important part of winning your girlfriend back. Keeping in mind that honesty is your best policy, write your love a letter. An actual, pen-to-paper apology for any wrong you know you did her. However, if you cheated on her or lifted an unkind hand to her, I am going to strongly suggest that you stop what you’re doing right now and seek help. Even if she were to forgive you, that’s no way for a man to live his life.

Because pen-to-paper is so permanent, I would suggest that you create your letter on the computer. This will give you the freedom to rearrange and correct to your heart’s content. Pick up some stationary paper (lined, if you need them) and write it out.

The logic behind this is two-fold. First, you may very well be the first man in her life to take the time and make the effort to circumvent technology in her honor. Second, it puts a piece of your heart in her hands. It’s a gift. She can see your thoughts in your handwriting, held in her own two hands. TIP: spritz her favorite cologne of yours in the air, and run the paper through it. That will add another layer of memory to your creation.

If you’re not sure what to write, here are some tips.

Salutation Your pet name for her. If that doesn’t feel serious enough, I’d recommend going with “My Dearest”, followed by her name.
Understanding Make it clear that you heard her. Mirror it back to her, and here is the important part. No recriminations, no excuses. No blaming her for your bad behavior. You will have to completely “man up” and own your own.
Beseech Ask for another chance. Tell her you have thought long and hard, and you hope she will give you a chance to win her back. This is not going to be picking up where you left off. This is just an opportunity, and make this clear to her; you just want a chance to win her all over again.
Hopes Let her know that if the answer is no, you will always think kindly of her. If she needs a friend, you’ll be there. She is without a doubt one of the most amazing women you’ve ever met, and you wish her nothing but the best from this point forward.

In closing, sign your name. Next, hold the letter for two days. Read it through, and if you have any changes to make, do so. Then seal it up and send it off.

The next part will be the most difficult. Leave her be. Don’t call, write, email, text, nothing. She may very well call you within a day or two of receiving the letter. But if she doesn’t, she’s thinking. So give her a month. Yes, thirty days. At that point, you’re probably going to want to ask yourself if you really want to pursue a woman who could ignore a heartfelt plea like the one you sent. But if your feelings remain strong, then go ahead and give her a call.

Visit our post if you would like some additional reading on “how to get your ex back“. Or feel free to check out T Dubs best selling online ebook called: “The Magic of Making Up“. Click here to instantly download your copy today!

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How to Get Your Girlfriend Back: Reunited, and it Feels so Good The love of your life appears to have disappeared, and you want her back. Can you do it? Of course! But it’s going to take a bit of work and honesty on your part. First off, who instigated the break up? If she did, this is definitely going to be an uphill battle. You’re going to want to grab a pen and paper. Write down the reason(s) she gave, leaving space in between to refute her claims. If you weren’t given a chance to defend yourself, this is going to be somewhat cathartic. Here are some examples. <ol type=”1″> <li class=”MsoNormal” style=”line-height: normal;”>”You never listen to me” Admit it. Yes, you read that right. Women don’t generally operate in a vacuum, and men frequently run on autopilot. You will not only need to be aware of what happened, but be willing to learn how to listen, as opposed to just hearing.</li> <li class=”MsoNormal” style=”line-height: normal;”>”You always take me for granted” Probable. People get comfortable with each other. Was it a two-way street? Did both of you stop presenting your best side? Remember, this is just an exercise to check yourself, in the hopes of getting her back. Now is not the time to tell her that in your estimation, you’re both guilty of that behavior. You lost your chance to comment on that when you didn’t bring it up while you two were a couple.</li> <li class=”MsoNormal” style=”line-height: normal;”>”You’re boring” AKA: “We never go out and have fun anymore” What’s changed? First, make sure she’s not just slinging accusations. If it is in fact true that you used to have an active social life, and now you don’t, why not? If you are serious about getting your girlfriend back, then you need to be willing to make some major changes. If you just rolled your eyes at me, then you don’t belong with her.</li> </ol> Once you’ve done all your paperwork, think about it. There’s really no rush to getting her back. It is going to be much more important to her that you heard her, understood her, agreed with her, and have indicated you feel she’s worth changing for. To quote Melvin Udall in “As Good as it Gets”, she makes you want to be a better man. Now we’re ready for the specifics. Those notes you took are going to be a very important part of winning your girlfriend back. Keeping in mind that honesty is your best policy, write your love a letter. An actual, pen-to-paper apology for any wrong you know you did her. However, if you cheated on her or lifted an unkind hand to her, I am going to strongly suggest that you stop what you’re doing right now and seek help. Even if she were to forgive you, that’s no way for a man to live his life. Because pen-to-paper is so permanent, I would suggest that you create your letter on the computer. This will give you the freedom to rearrange and correct to your heart’s content. Pick up some stationary paper (lined, if you need them) and write it out. The logic behind this is two-fold. First, you may very well be the first man in her life to take the time and make the effort to circumvent technology in her honor. Second, it puts a piece of your heart in her hands. It’s a gift. She can see your thoughts in your handwriting, held in her own two hands. TIP: spritz her favorite cologne of yours in the air, and run the paper through it. That will add another layer of memory to your creation. If you’re not sure what to write, here are some tips. <ol type=”1″> <li class=”MsoNormal” style=”line-height: normal;”>Salutation Your pet name for her. If that doesn’t feel serious enough, I’d recommend going with “My Dearest”, followed by her name.</li> <li class=”MsoNormal” style=”line-height: normal;”>Understanding Make it clear that you heard her. Mirror it back to her, and here is the important part. No recriminations, no excuses. No blaming her for your bad behavior. You will have to completely “man up” and own your own.</li> <li class=”MsoNormal” style=”line-height: normal;”>Beseech Ask for another chance. Tell her you have thought long and hard, and you hope she will give you a chance to win her back. This is not going to be picking up where you left off. This is just an opportunity, and make this clear to her; you just want a chance to win her all over again.</li> <li class=”MsoNormal” style=”line-height: normal;”>Hopes Let her know that if the answer is no, you will always think kindly of her. If she needs a friend, you’ll be there. She is without a doubt one of the most amazing women you’ve ever met, and you wish her nothing but the best from this point forward.</li> </ol> In closing, sign your name. Next, hold the letter for two days. Read it through, and if you have any changes to make, do so. Then seal it up and send it off. The next part will be the most difficult. Leave her be. Don’t call, write, email, text, nothing. She may very well call you within a day or two of receiving the letter. But if she doesn’t, she’s thinking. So give her a month. Yes, thirty days. At that point, you’re probably going to want to ask yourself if you really want to pursue a woman who could ignore a heartfelt plea like the one you sent. But if your feelings remain strong, then go ahead and give her a call.

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How to Get Your Girlfriend Back: Reunited, and it Feels so Good

1. “You never listen to me” Admit it. Yes, you read that right. Women don’t generally operate in a vacuum, and men frequently run on autopilot. You will not only need to be aware of what happened, but be willing to learn how to listen, as opposed to just hearing.
2. “You always take me for granted” Probable. People get comfortable with each other. Was it a two-way street? Did both of you stop presenting your best side? Remember, this is just an exercise to check yourself, in the hopes of getting her back. Now is not the time to tell her that in your estimation, you’re both guilty of that behavior. You lost your chance to comment on that when you didn’t bring it up while you two were a couple.
3. “You’re boring” AKA: “We never go out and have fun anymore” What’s changed? First, make sure she’s not just slinging accusations. If it is in fact true that you used to have an active social life, and now you don’t, why not? If you are serious about getting your girlfriend back, then you need to be willing to make some major changes. If you just rolled your eyes at me, then you don’t belong with her.

If you’re not sure what to write, here are some tips.

1. Salutation Your pet name for her. If that doesn’t feel serious enough, I’d recommend going with “My Dearest”, followed by her name.
2. Understanding Make it clear that you heard her. Mirror it back to her, and here is the important part. No recriminations, no excuses. No blaming her for your bad behavior. You will have to completely “man up” and own your own.
3. Beseech Ask for another chance. Tell her you have thought long and hard, and you hope she will give you a chance to win her back. This is not going to be picking up where you left off. This is just an opportunity, and make this clear to her; you just want a chance to win her all over again.
4. Hopes Let her know that if the answer is no, you will always think kindly of her. If she needs a friend, you’ll be there. She is without a doubt one of the most amazing women you’ve ever met, and you wish her nothing but the best from this point forward.

In closing, sign your name. Next, hold the letter for two days. Read it through, and if you have any changes to make, do so. Then seal it up and send it off.

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How to Get Your Girlfriend Back: Reunited, and it Feels so Good The love of your life appears to have disappeared, and you want her back. Can you do it? Of course! But it’s going to take a bit of work and honesty on your part. First off, who instigated the break up? If she did, this is definitely going to be an uphill battle. You’re going to want to grab a pen and paper. Write down the reason(s) she gave, leaving space in between to refute her claims. If you weren’t given a chance to defend yourself, this is going to be somewhat cathartic. Here are some examples. “You never listen to me” Admit it. Yes, you read that right. Women don’t generally operate in a vacuum, and men frequently run on autopilot. You will not only need to be aware of what happened, but be willing to learn how to listen, as opposed to just hearing. “You always take me for granted” Probable. People get comfortable with each other. Was it a two-way street? Did both of you stop presenting your best side? Remember, this is just an exercise to check yourself, in the hopes of getting her back. Now is not the time to tell her that in your estimation, you’re both guilty of that behavior. You lost your chance to comment on that when you didn’t bring it up while you two were a couple. “You’re boring” AKA: “We never go out and have fun anymore” What’s changed? First, make sure she’s not just slinging accusations. If it is in fact true that you used to have an active social life, and now you don’t, why not? If you are serious about getting your girlfriend back, then you need to be willing to make some major changes. If you just rolled your eyes at me, then you don’t belong with her. Once you’ve done all your paperwork, think about it. There’s really no rush to getting her back. It is going to be much more important to her that you heard her, understood her, agreed with her, and have indicated you feel she’s worth changing for. To quote Melvin Udall in “As Good as it Gets”, she makes you want to be a better man. Now we’re ready for the specifics. Those notes you took are going to be a very important part of winning your girlfriend back. Keeping in mind that honesty is your best policy, write your love a letter. An actual, pen-to-paper apology for any wrong you know you did her. However, if you cheated on her or lifted an unkind hand to her, I am going to strongly suggest that you stop what you’re doing right now and seek help. Even if she were to forgive you, that’s no way for a man to live his life. Because pen-to-paper is so permanent, I would suggest that you create your letter on the computer. This will give you the freedom to rearrange and correct to your heart’s content. Pick up some stationary paper (lined, if you need them) and write it out. The logic behind this is two-fold. First, you may very well be the first man in her life to take the time and make the effort to circumvent technology in her honor. Second, it puts a piece of your heart in her hands. It’s a gift. She can see your thoughts in your handwriting, held in her own two hands. TIP: spritz her favorite cologne of yours in the air, and run the paper through it. That will add another layer of memory to your creation. If you’re not sure what to write, here are some tips. Salutation Your pet name for her. If that doesn’t feel serious enough, I’d recommend going with “My Dearest”, followed by her name. Understanding Make it clear that you heard her. Mirror it back to her, and here is the important part. No recriminations, no excuses. No blaming her for your bad behavior. You will have to completely “man up” and own your own. Beseech Ask for another chance. Tell her you have thought long and hard, and you hope she will give you a chance to win her back. This is not going to be picking up where you left off. This is just an opportunity, and make this clear to her; you just want a chance to win her all over again. Hopes Let her know that if the answer is no, you will always think kindly of her. If she needs a friend, you’ll be there. She is without a doubt one of the most amazing women you’ve ever met, and you wish her nothing but the best from this point forward. In closing, sign your name. Next, hold the letter for two days. Read it through, and if you have any changes to make, do so. Then seal it up and send it off. The next part will be the most difficult. Leave her be. Don’t call, write, email, text, nothing. She may very well call you within a day or two of receiving the letter. But if she doesn’t, she’s thinking. So give her a month. Yes, thirty days. At that point, you’re probably going to want to ask yourself if you really want to pursue a woman who could ignore a heartfelt plea like the one you sent. But if your feelings remain strong, then go ahead and give her a call.
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Ex Girlfriend Revenge

Sunday, October 11th, 2009

Many times girlfriends and boyfriends breakup during the course of their relationship. Some of the time they can work things out and get back together. However, other times the couples can’t find their way back to each and part for good. Then there are those side times when the injured party wants revenge.

Many times when the gals get hurt by their boyfriends they want revenge for their pain. Ex-girlfriend revenge can be a hard thing to live with on both sides. The ex-girlfriend is not moving on with her life as long as she is plotting her revenge. The ex-boyfriend has to deal with her anger and sometimes he would like to get back with her if she would only forgive him. Boyfriends can do a similar thing to their ex-girlfriends.

The are many that are out that do think that revenge is the right way to go and that they will get some pleasure from it. If you are one of these people then you need to know that whatever pleasure you get from revenge it can cause you some discomfort too. You will be dredging up hurtful memories over and over for one thing. In the end you will still have to forget the pain and move forward with your life or you will need to forgive your boyfriend/girlfriend and go back with him/her.

Revenge just makes matters worse under any circumstances. If you get in the habit of plotting revenge every time someone upsets you then you are going to have a hard mad life. Revenge comes out of anger and there are many times the boyfriends, girlfriends, family members, and friends will make you made in your life. If you stay mad at them you will be feeding your anger. This can actually even cause you health problems for the stress of it.

It is much better to try to forgive the people that upset you even if it is is your boyfriend or girlfriend. It does not mean you have to get back with them. It just means that you put down the anger and quit plotting revenge. You don’t need to stop living your life to plot revenge! Let it go and start living again.

You can carry the thing about an eye for an eye too far. This only makes a bunch of people blind! This can be a never-ending cycle when you believe this way. You get revenge on the person that hurt then they may want to get revenge for you getting revenge!

Through forgiveness you stop the cycle from even starting. This way you can feel good about life again and enjoy being alive. This is how we are suppose to live our lives. We are not suppose to be constantly plotting revenge.

Go find someone else to date if you are that mad at your boyfriend/girlfriend. Leave them behind in but do it with forgiveness in your heart so you don’t eat yourself up with anger. In the end being happy in your life and forgiving your wrongdoer is much easier for you to do too. It takes a lot of time, energy, and just plain work to plot revenge. In the end you will just wear yourself out! Forgive!

The Aftermath Of Ex Boyfriends and Girlfriends

Tuesday, November 4th, 2008

Sometimes, (depending on the situation) having and ex boyfriend/girlfriend could be a problem because the relationship ends, but the memories remain.

Even if we want to forget about it, those memories come back involuntary. They are unpredictable enough to appear years after the relationship is over in a time when we have a different partner and believe that we have completely “forgotten” about the other.

People have even confessed about dreams (and nightmares) with their ex boyfriend/girlfriend after being with their husband/wife. These memories become a type of ghost that follows them throughout their days.

Many will wonder why, but that is the way human psychology is designed. All of our experiences from the past are recorded in our mind consciously or subconsciously.

But when we speak about relationships, we are not talking about any type of experience. We are talking about emotional experiences that have affected us deep.

And speaking of deep, there is no other experience in life that can possible leave a more deeper, profound and life changing effect in a human being than having an intimate relationship with someone we love.

But even more powerful is an experience that goes beyond the limits: sex.

Premarital sex is considered by many something completely normal, however, the effects that it is capable of producing are so drastic, that not even a divorce can be compared to it.

For example:

Imagine the case of two teenagers, a boy and girl who become neighbors. They get to know each other and with time, they form a intimate relationship. Months go by and they start spending night’s alone at her house were things become more and more physical as many other nights go by.

Soon, they get to the point were their intimacy reaches it’s highest level and sleep together one night while their parents are away.

A couple of months later, school starts and the girl meets another guy. They become such good friends that he starts visiting her house.

The other boy does not know about this new friend until he sees them kissing one day from his next door window.

He breaks up with her and the girl stays with her new boyfriend. Now the visits at night are done by him.

As the boy watches these visits night after night from across the street, he imagines every little detail he experienced with her, but being done with her new boyfriend.

He also realizes that when her parents leave, the new boyfriend comes over to sleep with her just like he did.

The boy suffers from extreme emotional pain, and is taken to a psychologist because he is unable to study, eat, nor sleep.

Years later, he can still remember the emotional impact that this experience has made in him and his life…

This is a fact: A sexual experience has the potential to leave life long marks on anyone.

Much of the above is what you are not told in blogs, books, novels, movies, TV, radio, the Internet, and Hollywood were everybody lives “happily ever after” in the end.

Nor do they ask themselves the following questions:

Why is it that nobody speaks about the psychological effects that premarital sex can have?
Can’t people see that it has to do with our personal feelings, emotions and integrity?
Why is it that the topic of sex is always something to laugh about?

All this can be answered with another question:

Why do people follow their heart (which does not think) instead of their head (which does think)?

Unfortunately, we do see a lot of the following:

“I hate my ex boyfriend/girlfriend”
“Revenge for cheating ex boyfriends/girlfriends”
“Signs your ex still loves you”
“Getting even with an ex”
“Letters to ex boyfriends/girlfriends”
“Making your ex jealous”

All this and no explanation of how they got in that situation in the first place.

The reason premarital sex is risky is because it takes relationships to its highest level, but not to its highest commitment.

In a romantic relationship, there is no bigger deception than an infidelity and in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, this can happen at any time.

Now how will the boy, in the example above, explain his experience to his wife? Will she accept his reality?

Sexual fidelity is suppose to start before marriage, and stay within marriage. If it is broken in either cases, it can have long or short term consequences sooner or later.

In conclusion, “Relationships are similar to a crystal glass. If it falls with hard impact, it will be broken into a thousand pieces…” (100QBM eBook) and the effects are for life.

“The higher a relationship went, the harder the fall, the bigger the ‘emotional baggage’, the longer it will take to overcome it, and yes indeed this will be a topic that you might touch with your permanent partner at some point of the rest of your life.” (100QBM eBook)

To keep it simple, courtship, relationships and sex are delicate. We must be responsible with them from the very beginning so we don’t have a delusional end.

Note: This post was not meant to make anybody feel guilty of their own experience or past, but to help them open their eyes to avoid similar problems in the present and future. To help them realize a reality that others don’t. To help them become a different, unique and better person.

Take advantage of our 100 Questions Before Marriage sample eBook for free, or you can get the famous relationship book written by Michael Webb, 1000 Questions For Couples

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Posts Tagged ‘ex girlfriend’

How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

Ex Girlfriend Revenge

The Aftermath Of Ex Boyfriends and Girlfriends

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