Questions to Ask Your Lover

Learning new things about the one you love is usually a process. As the relationship grows and you spend more time with one another, you begin to truly know that person and see them for who they are. Still, who they were and who they plan to be is of great importance also.

These are things that may not reveal themselves quickly enough, and that’s why asking the right questions in the beginning of your relationship can save you time, possibly heart ache and/or forge a stronger bond based on admiration and a greater respect for each other.

So, what kinds of questions should you ask your lover? While you don’t want to make your spouse feel like a game show contestant by bombarding them with questions or putting them on the spot, feel free to ask fun and intimate questions over a dinner for two or while cuddling up on the couch.

To help you begin brainstorming, here is a list of questions of all kinds that you may wish to ask your loved one:

Questions to Ask Your Lover


1. Why did your parents give you your name and what meaning does it hold? Do you think it suits your personality?
2. How do you feel about your family?
3. How do you feel about my family?
4. What is your biggest regret and how would you have done things differently?
5. Have you ever been in love? How did you know it was love and what did you learn from that relationship?
6. How do you feel about your exes, honestly?
7. What is your relationship with your parents and how do you feel they contributed to who you are today?
8. Do you want to have children one day? If so, how many?
9. What is your idea of the “Perfect Life”?
10. Are you religious or spiritual? Why?


11. What political party do you identify with? Why?
12. What are your favorite childhood memories?
13. What are your thoughts on marriage?
14. Where would you want to get married? Who would you ask to be in the wedding party and where would you want to honeymoon after?
15. What would you say are your greatest strengths? What are your greatest weaknesses?
16. What are your biggest fears? How do you think you can overcome them?
17. What did you want to be when you grew up? How does that differ from what you are/wish to be today?
18. Have you ever gone through a rough break up? How did you get through it? What have you learned from it?
19. What constitutes cheating in your book?
20. If you had a million dollars, how would you spend it?


21. Who are the most important people in your life and why?
22. What is the most hurtful thing you’ve ever done to another person?
23. What do you like/dislike about me?
24. How has our relationship bettered your life?
25. How do you constitute an exclusive relationship? How do you honor it?
26. What is your worst habit? How could you break that habit?
27. In a marriage, who do you feel should handle the finances? The man, the woman or both going half on everything?
28. What kind of parent do you imagine yourself being? What kind of morals and values would you work diligently to instill in your children?
29. Could you see yourself marrying me? Why or why not?
30. What do you think would make me a good parent?


31. Do you leave the toilet seat up? Could you get in the habit of putting it down after each use?
32. Has a lover ever made you angry enough to strike them?
33. How would you define an abusive relationship?
34. Would you consider yourself open or a bit closed off?
35. Do you enjoy cooking?
36. Would you consider yourself a neat freak, a bit unorganized or very messy?
37. Do you find it difficult to trust others? Why? How has that affected your relationships?
38. Are you more of a budgeter or do you splurge often?
39. Do you think couples should have joint accounts, separate accounts or both?
40. Have you ever done something illegal?


41. What is your credit like? Do you have a lot of debt? How do you plan to handle that?
42. If we couldn’t have children together would you be open to adoption?
43. How much time do you like to spend with me, with friends and by yourself?
44. What is one thing no one knows about you?

So there you have it, a whole list of open ended questions to spark up a meaningful conversation with the person who just might be “The One”.  You’ll surely know – after thinking about their answers – whether or not they are.

Click here to instantly download your copy of 1000 Questions for Couples now!

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