Ok. I understand you are here right now reading these very words because you have a problem. And I’ll bet you I know what that problem is. Hmm let me think…, Ah! You broke up with your ex.
So this also means you might not feel to good about it. Trust me, I KNOW. I know what it is to feel emotionally sick after such an event. But cheer up, this is part of life. There is an old saying that says “what ever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger”, and this type of experience will make you much stronger. The good part is that this experience will serve you for the rest of your life because you are going to learn something from it and this is what ‘s important and permanent.
Please feel free to read the following post that was made just for you on learning “how to get your ex back”. And no this is not one of the many mediocre post you see on the internet that have no substance at all in trying to solve your serious problem with silly information.
How to Get Your Ex Back
Fist and foremost, breakups are not uncommon in our world. As a matter of fact, people have been breaking up since the beginning of time for many reasons. Only in very rare cases it can result impossible to get your ex back. However, it is extremely rare. You would have to have done something extremely horrible in order to make your ex not want you back. Fortunately, in most cases, it is quite possible to make your ex start over with you once again in the relationship.
Below are a couple of steps, pointers, tips, suggestions and ideas that will provide you with free advice and help you determine what is the best and fastest way for you to get your ex back once again.
1) First, Know and Understand The Reason
- You might want to consider why you are breaking up because it could be that there is either a misunderstanding, or your ex has a very good reason for breaking up that he should let you know about.
This is the most important fact you should have because it can allow you learn what is the cause of the break up and allow you to try and fix or improve that which was not working while you where in the relationship.
If you are able to talk about it and fix problem in a conversation, then you just got your ex back in the very first step! Remember that the most important thing in any relationship is communication. But if it does not solve the problem, then it is time to move on, for now.
2) Respectfully Agree…
– If your ex gave you a good reason for the break up, and continues to tell you that the relationship should end even after speaking about the problem, then the best thing to do is to agree.
To be in a relationship, two people need to be willing to commit to each other. But if there is only one, then the relationship is going be left handicap.
Just remember what Aristotle said: “Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies“, but if there is only one soul involved, then we cannot force them to be one with us.
We humans have the free will to choose and make our decisions. So if this is the decision that your ex has made, let it be. Worse will be forcing them to do something they do not want to do.
But don’t think that this will end here because life is full of surprises. Just demonstrate to your ex that you are a mature and strong person. This alone should show a part of you that should leave them impressed.
3) Continue Moving on With Your Life
– Although you may not feel like it, going on with your life is the best possible thing you can do at this point. Simply continue moving forward with your day-to-day routine and don’t let your emotions get the best of you. They’ll wonder why you haven’t broken down.
Try to be involved in anything that can distract you from thinking about your ex. This can be sports, activities, events, video games, etc.
Try to avoid anything that can remind you of your ex. Like romantic music, literature, photos, places, etc.
It’s not worth it to go through more emotional pain then the amount you have been through already. Just try to keep your mind away from your ex and you will see how it would be much easier to approach them when it is appropriate to do so.
4) Change Your Look
– You may not think so, but when you reinvent yourself, you reinvent your life, thus attracting more positive energies your way. When you’re depressed, it may not show, but people can sense it. When you’re happy, it continues to come back to you and you’ll attract those same feelings from others.
5) Know When to Approach
- You will know sooner or later the correct moment when to approach your ex. This depends on your situation and the reason for the break up. But you can know when it is time by remembering the “Side effects of a Break Up” and taking advantage of them.
The Side Effects of a Break Up
The “You don’t know what you have till you lose it” Effect
Everyone goes through this in a break up and so will your ex. This is when you start to realize how much your ex actually meant for you when you’re no longer have them.
It’s a type of paradox. When you have something, you don’t value it. When you no longer have that something, you do value it.
When this occurs your ex starts to value you more now then the time you where in a relationship with him/her. This is a good opportunity to start an indirect conversation that might get your ex interested in starting the relationship again.
The “What if?” Effect
This is when you start thinking about “what if” we still were together or “what if” things worked out. You and your ex will most likely have this in mind.
It is like having second thoughts about the relationship and could be a good situation to begin a conversation about starting from scratch with your ex.
The “I Miss You” Effect
Well, this ones easy. We normally get use to being around something or someone so much that we start to miss them when they are not around. Another great opportunity.
Get Your Ex Back
This is the final step and it is the most crucial because it is when you will make the attempt to get your ex back using the appropriate moment and circumstances, along with the above tips.
It is best to be yourself and try to remember the positive sides of your ex relationship. This way you can try to magnify those moments of happiness once again and reignite the fire that was once their. However, only you know your ex well. So this part depends mostly on yourself and how you will approach.
But due to the reason that there could be so many cases and so many different situations in a break up, below are some additional free tips and advice that can help you in getting your ex boyfriend/girlfriend back. You can also read our post on each: How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back and How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back.
Other Helpful Tips
The above advice is for everyone in a general sense but you can see below if any of the following tips can help you in your situation as well:
– It’s okay if you two have the same friends, hang-out’s, etc., but at least try to distance yourself from your ex for a while. Have confidence that they will make their way back to you. Stalking is a huge turn-off and creates negativity. It’s best not to ask your friends about your ex. Have faith that they will contact you and find you when the time is right.
Don’t Ask Your Ex To Come Back
– After you’ve accepted (whether you’ve really accepted it or not), act like you’re fine with it. Begging or simply suggesting that getting back together is a horrible idea. Doing so will only push your ex away. If you’ve already begged, there is no need to worry. The best thing you can do right now is simply put an end to it and pretend that you’re going on with your life.
Don’t Ask Questions About The Breakup
– After breaking up with your ex, the worst thing you can do is ask why. Most of the time, the reason is clear. What’s done is done and it’s best to simply accept what has happened and let time run it’s course. Your wounds will heal, and it’s also a great way to get your ex back.
Let Your Ex Come To You
– Once you’ve let your ex know that you’re okay with the breakup and let them know that you’ll always be their friend, leave it at that. Your ex may not contact you for a while, especially if they start dating other people, but trust that they will. Let your ex come to you. It will give you the upper hand.
Date Other People
– You don’t necessarily have to get into another relationship, but at least going out with individuals of the opposite sex is highly recommended. You’ll need to strike a bond with others to help deal with some of the negative emotions that might come your way. It helps with the healing process, and besides, it makes you look like you’re doing just fine without your ex.
Don’t “Wait” on Your Ex to Come Back
– If your mind is programmed as if you are “waiting” on your ex to come back, then they may never make it back into your life. You have to do things that make you happy in the meantime. Go back to school, get a gym membership, and change some things about yourself that you’ve been unhappy with. Get busy doing things that interest you, that way, when you do get back together with your ex, you’ll have it all together and if it’s meant to be, it will last.
Tell Your Ex That You’ll Always Be Their “Friend”
- Letting your ex know that no matter what, you’ll always be there for them, is the perfect way to get them back – eventually. It may not happen overnight, or even within the next 6 months, but as long as you leave the door open, they’re bound to walk through it again. This is also a great way not to create any hard feelings between the two of you.
Getting your ex back is not difficult. There is a good chance that this entire process may take some time. However, the wait will be worthwhile because your relationship will evolve into something much better than before. By accepting the breakup and letting your ex know that you’re willing to be their friend, you’re creating a relationship that just may last forever.
Remember that a romantic relationship is like “friendship set on fire”, and all relationships have a touch of friendship in them whether its family, boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife or even pet relationships.
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