Children And Divorce Effects
Early Responses in Children to Parents Divorcing
Divorce is extremely upsetting for any age group of children. Most children are not ready for the divorce their parents are about to go through.
A 1980 study discovered that not even ten percent of the children received help from adults outside the structure of the family during the initial part of the process for divorce.
Children feel the pain as they lose the parent who does not have custody and this leaves them feeling quite vulnerable.
Many times, children don’t know the marriage of their parents is having problems. The children can even be angry about the family being disrupted in this way.
Many stressful situations happen to children throughout their lives, for most of these adults look into getting counseling for the children.
However when it comes to divorce adults are either unwilling or do not understand that the children need help to cope with this too.
Developmental Issues with Children
Children can have different issues depending on the age group. Certain issues the children have in common within their age groups.
Ages 3 to 5 can see the children regress in their development. Restless sleep patterns and episodes of fear at being separated from the parent with custody can be exhibited too. Missing the non-custodial parent constantly can also happen.
Ages 6 ½ to 8 usually openly mourn the parent that has departed from the scene due to divorce. This age group can fantasize about their parents getting back together. They have a hard time realizing that the divorce is final.
Ages 8 to 11 tend to feel angry and having no power to handle the situation. They too mourn the family as it once was. This age group can also consider one parent bad and the other one good and try to take care of the parent ignoring their needs.
Ages 12 to 18 can have a variety of feelings from depression to violent actions to suicidal ideas. This age group can be judgmental on the divorce issue. These teens can also develop doubt over what their romantic relationships will be like in the future.
But this age group can comprehend more about what is going on and therefore have more compassion for their parents.
How Divorce Affects the Child-Parent Relationship
Many times the custodial parent goes through a transition period that can involve being a somewhat disjointed parent. This can lead to poor parenting as they try to get their lives together. Many times, the children wind up in the caregiver position with the parent, trying to make sure the parent does not get depressed.
The Result of Paternal Involvement with the Children Post Divorce
Paternal involvement or lack of it does not severely impact the children according to studies. Their grades and behavior stay about the same. But these studies have many limitations such as low paternal contact for one with children. This does show that increasing paternal contact may not always have more positive results. More steady contact all along is probably the ultimate answer.
Long-term Results
The results for the long term depends on how well adjusted children are after the divorce. This includes how good the child-parent relationship is too. Children can go on into adulthood with fears and anxieties over their love or marital relationships possibly not working out.
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