100 Questions Before Marriage Blog

Marriage is a huge commitment and many times people rush into without thinking. This decision should be made through a lot of thought and soul searching. Also you need to make sure you know your partner well enough to make the commitment in the first place.

Spend some time getting to know who the other one is. Participate in activities together. Meet each other’s friends and families. Have long talks with each other. Discuss job and personal goals so you know what each of you want in life.

There is so much information you should know before getting married. Too much to just accidently find it out about your partner. You will have to resort to asking questions to learn some of it. Asking these questions can be fun if you do it the right way.

Just throw a few questions in every so many minutes throughout your conversations. Make this flow natural in what you are talking about though. Then your partner will not feel put on the spot.

Come up with questions that give you the answers you need though. You don’t want frivolous fun questions here. The questions you want to ask get to the heart of who your partner is. Below are just some of the questions to ask your partner to see if he is the right marriage partner for you…

Questions to Ask Before Marriage:

1. Have you had a physical lately to make sure you are totally healthy? You may not think this is important but it is.

2. What do you think of prenuptial agreements? Are you for or against them?

3. Will you want to make a family with me after we have been married for a while? If so how many children would you like to have? These are two questions you need to be in sync with.

4. What is your financial situation at present? Where do you plan for it to be in 10 years? You need to know if your partner has any bad debts because you will be sharing in the problem after you are married.

5. Who do you think should handle the checkbook in our marriage? You could also add that you think it should be jointly handled so your partner knows your side of this.

6. Do you want to get a bigger place after we get married? This is especially important if your partner’s place and yours is small.

7. Do you feel comfortable sharing a closet with me? Some people have strange closet habits.

8. Will you feel comfortable with a large wedding ceremony and elaborate reception? Your partner may want a small affair while you want a big one, compromise is the key here.

9. You bed or mine, which one will we sleep in? The other can of course be kept in the guest room if you have one?

10. Do you snore, if so, how loud? You may have to buy some earplugs!

11. How do you physically make love? Sex is bound to come up sooner or later you might as well discuss it and see what the other one thinks about it.

12. Are you close with your family like I am with mine? (Or if you are estranged from your family, ask that instead of your partner.) You will need to know how much you will need to interact with each other’s family. That is part of marriage too.

13. Do you believe in us even cleaning the house together? The woman needs to know if the man is willing to do his part with the household chores.

14. Are you a heavy drinker, smoker, or drug user (prescription or illegal)? Hopefully your partner should be honest about this. You should have spent enough time together to know the answer to this question already though.

15. How deeply do you actually love me? Love is important, but even more important is the question, do you like me?

16. What do you like to do when you are not working? Do you like to be active or just stay home? These answers could be important to how you spend leisure time together.

See what important facts you can find out before you get married. Some of the answers to these questions could make you change your mind all together. Then again they could also reaffirm your decision to get marries is the right one. Surely you will find some other things you want to know to make questions on too.

Learning new things about the one you love is usually a process. As the relationship grows and you spend more time with one another, you begin to truly know that person and see them for who they are. Still, who they were and who they plan to be is of great importance also.

These are things that may not reveal themselves quickly enough, and that’s why asking the right questions in the beginning of your relationship can save you time, possibly heart ache and/or forge a stronger bond based on admiration and a greater respect for each other.

So, what kinds of questions should you ask your lover? While you don’t want to make your spouse feel like a game show contestant by bombarding them with questions or putting them on the spot, feel free to ask fun and intimate questions over a dinner for two or while cuddling up on the couch.

To help you begin brainstorming, here is a list of questions of all kinds that you may wish to ask your loved one:

Questions to Ask Your Lover

1-10

1. Why did your parents give you your name and what meaning does it hold? Do you think it suits your personality?
2. How do you feel about your family?
3. How do you feel about my family?
4. What is your biggest regret and how would you have done things differently?
5. Have you ever been in love? How did you know it was love and what did you learn from that relationship?
6. How do you feel about your exes, honestly?
7. What is your relationship with your parents and how do you feel they contributed to who you are today?
8. Do you want to have children one day? If so, how many?
9. What is your idea of the “Perfect Life”?
10. Are you religious or spiritual? Why?

11-20

11. What political party do you identify with? Why?
12. What are your favorite childhood memories?
13. What are your thoughts on marriage?
14. Where would you want to get married? Who would you ask to be in the wedding party and where would you want to honeymoon after?
15. What would you say are your greatest strengths? What are your greatest weaknesses?
16. What are your biggest fears? How do you think you can overcome them?
17. What did you want to be when you grew up? How does that differ from what you are/wish to be today?
18. Have you ever gone through a rough break up? How did you get through it? What have you learned from it?
19. What constitutes cheating in your book?
20. If you had a million dollars, how would you spend it?

21-30

21. Who are the most important people in your life and why?
22. What is the most hurtful thing you’ve ever done to another person?
23. What do you like/dislike about me?
24. How has our relationship bettered your life?
25. How do you constitute an exclusive relationship? How do you honor it?
26. What is your worst habit? How could you break that habit?
27. In a marriage, who do you feel should handle the finances? The man, the woman or both going half on everything?
28. What kind of parent do you imagine yourself being? What kind of morals and values would you work diligently to instill in your children?
29. Could you see yourself marrying me? Why or why not?
30. What do you think would make me a good parent?

31-40

31. Do you leave the toilet seat up? Could you get in the habit of putting it down after each use?
32. Has a lover ever made you angry enough to strike them?
33. How would you define an abusive relationship?
34. Would you consider yourself open or a bit closed off?
35. Do you enjoy cooking?
36. Would you consider yourself a neat freak, a bit unorganized or very messy?
37. Do you find it difficult to trust others? Why? How has that affected your relationships?
38. Are you more of a budgeter or do you splurge often?
39. Do you think couples should have joint accounts, separate accounts or both?
40. Have you ever done something illegal?

41-44

41. What is your credit like? Do you have a lot of debt? How do you plan to handle that?
42. If we couldn’t have children together would you be open to adoption?
43. How much time do you like to spend with me, with friends and by yourself?
44. What is one thing no one knows about you?

So there you have it, a whole list of open ended questions to spark up a meaningful conversation with the person who just might be “The One”.  You’ll surely know – after thinking about their answers – whether or not they are.

Having a partner in life is a very intimate experience. You share your whole lives with them. Sometimes you have to ask each other questions to understand how the other one is thinking though.

This helps you strengthen you relationship most of the time.

Remember we are all human and sometimes the answers to certain questions  could bring out someone’s weaknesses as well as their strengths.  Let’s explore some of the questions that you could ask your partner.

Questions To Ask Your Partner:

1-10

1. How important is intimacy to you in a relationship?
2. Have you had any other intimate-type relationships in your life?
3. Are you completely over all your other relationships that have broken up?
4. Have any of your relationships lasted a long time or have they all been short lived? If the later is true why do you think they did not last longer?
5. Do you see us having a future together?
6. Do you believe in marriage or does the idea of it scare you to death?
7. Have you had sex, or are you still, dare I say it, a virgin?
8. Do you think that in a relationship that you have to bare your whole soul to your partner, or is it okay to keep some things private?
9. Would you mind if you found out that I was more experienced at love than you are?
10. Are you a doer or just a thinker?

11-20

11. Do you see marriage in our future? If so do you also see kids there?
12. Can I depend on you to take care of me even if I got seriously injured or ill?
13. If you designed a house how many rooms would it have and where would it be located?
14. What is the most adventurous activity you would like both of us to do together?
15. What is the most intimate activity other than sex would you want us to partake in?
16. Do you like thinking of your partner first, or do they have to bring their needs to your attention so how?
17. Are you a dog person or a cat person?
18. Do you believe in birth control or are you against it?
19. Would you like to have a lot of children or just one or two?
20. How would you show your love to me?

21-30

21. Are you faithful to your partners or do you cheat and think it is okay?
22. Do you believe that couples need to spend a good deal of time doing things together?
23. Has your heart ever been broken to where it took a long time for it to mend.
24. Is going to the gym and working out fun for you or is it a chore?
25. How important is wealth in your life?
26. Do you have any health conditions that a partner should know about?
27. Do you have any certain foods that you cannot eat do to health conditions?
28. Do you like to do activities that make you think, or do you like the activities that you can just relax while doing them?
29. Is there anything that you have a phobia about?
30. Have you ever been in a major car accident? If so did you have a hard time driving?

31-42

31. Are you shy or real outgoing?
32. Do you prefer living in the city, suburbs, or do you prefer the country?
33. Do you think that love at first sight actually exists?
34. If you had to plan a special date what would it include?
35. Do you consider relationships something you have to work at or should the just happen?
36. Are you a believer in the fact that love can go on forever even after one partner dies?
37. Do you think that a relationship is give and take on both parts or do you think it is all take and no give?
38. What is the true meaning of the word love for you?
39. Are you in love with me? If not are you at least “in like” with me?
40. Is it better to think with your brain, then act on your heartfelt feelings?
41. Are you a morally upstanding person or have you pulled a few shady deals in your day?
42. Do you like sharing intimate details about your past life?

These questions should give you some idea of what to ask your partner. These questions could give you some further knowledge of their personality. The better you get to know your partner the easier it is to get along with them and have a satisfying relationship.

For more questions to ask your partner, simply download your free copy of the 100 Questions Before Marriage sample eBook, or get the 1000 Questions For Couples by relationship expert Michael Webb.